Bree Tanners second chance
by Haraldzidla
Summary: Bree learns the realitly of being a vampire with the help of the cullens, but even as she tries to control her thirst she awaits news from Aro. Will she be allowed to live or was she right in believing that death was round the corner?
1. The Deal

**I know I should be updating my Harry Potter stories but I had to put this up here. I am in love with Bree and her character. The first part was in the book and I did not write myself.**

**Chapter One**

**A Deal**

"**Felix?" Jane said Lazily.**

"**Wait," the mind reader said loudly. He turned to Carlisle and spoke quickly "We could explain the rules to the young one. She doesn't seem unwilling to learn. She didn't know what she was doing"**

"**Of course" Carlise said eagerly, looking at Jane. "We would certainly be prepared to take responsibility for Bree"**

The human pet's heart beat twice before Jane answered, her eyes cold.

"The rules can not be changed for one little newborn, she must be punished. You know this Carlise, all your doing is wasting our time. I would like to get home before the sun goes down"

Carlise looked at me for one fourth of a second before he turned back to look at Jane, his expression grave as he realised that there was nothing he could do to help me. He knew as well as I did that I was going to die.

"Wait!"

A voice I had only heard twice but would never forget ran through the field and as I turned to look at Fred I was momentarily taken back, even thought I knew his talent the feeling of not sensing that someone else had approached us had me feeling uneasy. He looked at me, on the ground and defeated and seemed to understand what had happened.

"Let her go" he snarled, but no one seemed to be listening. I had never heard Fred mad before, in fact it was hard to remember a time when he had shown any emotion other then smiling a few times and boredom.

Part of me wanted to tell him to leave because like me he would be killed. I suddenly wished that I had told him about the clocked figures when I had had the chance. And now it was too late.

Jane looked at Fred before taking a step back, she wanted to be away from him, just as the others did. I almost smiled in satisfaction of how powerful my unlikely friend was.

"Another newborn I see" Jane said without looking at him, she turned to Carlise "I thought you said you had taken care of them all. It seems your coven is not as talent as I had heard"

"He was not in the fight" Jasper said. As soon as Fred had appeared he had moved to stand in front of the small black haired vampire, all most protectively. "I would of remembered seeing him. No one got out alive apart from Bree"

Jane thought about this before she nodded lightly, almost as though she was thinking.

"I could see how you would of missed this one…he's talented"

"Jane…"

"Hush, Felix. I know what I am doing" she smiled slightly at the yellow eyed vampires and their pet but I could see no kindness there "I shall make you a deal. They must be punished for what they did, however you may look after Bree and keep her with you, if we take this one. You know how Aro likes talent. He shall come with us and if he likes what he see's then they shall live, if not…" Her smile widened and I wondered if I looked like that when I hunted "then I think you know what will be done. Do you agree to this?"

"Yes" Carlise said, he walked behind me and placed a hand on my shoulder, I had to stop myself from flinching, something told me he would not attack me. I looked at Fred to try and think of something other then the burning of thirst I was feeling. He had yet to say anything and I wondered if he would agree to this, there had been no need for him to come back for me.

All he had done was put both of our lives at risk rather then just mind. Would he do that again in order to save us both? Every house we had been in had been the same, him using his powers to keep himself hidden and now he would have to be known and be seen.

"And you?" Jane asked Fred "Will you come with us to safe your self and Bree?"

Carlise squeezed my shoulder in comfort as Fred nodded.

**This is only the first chapter and there is doing to be more and I promise they will be longer, I just wanted to get this out there.**

**Haraldzidla**


	2. The Thirst

**I do not own this, just the story line.**

**Chapter Two**

**The Thirst**

In the three months that I had been living I had never thought that there could be a down side to being a vampire. I had everything a human did not, strength, awareness and power that they could never hope to have. And yet for the first time I was starting to wish that I had none of this…the world was so much…_darker _this way. While my human memories remained nothing but a dark shadow in the back of my mind I could remember everything from the last few months perfectly, every scream, every drop of blood and all of the people I had met were forever going to be imbedded in my mind.

"_when I take you to her and hold you as she tears off your legs and then slowly, slowly burns off your fingers, ears, lips, tongue, and every other superfluous appendage one by one"_

I was never going to forget those words. _She _had done that to him. Victoria. Some how her name sounded dirty, like filth in my mind.

Darkness had fallen and even with everything that had happened today I relaxed slightly in the darkness, even though I knew that the sun would do me no harm I still felt safer in the dark. I knew the darkness, it was familiar, something I understood. I was still sat in the field, the yellow eyes talking around me, wondering how they were going to handle me. The mind reader had long gone, taking their human pet with him.

The burning in my throat was still there but it had lessened since she had left. I didn't understand them, they were so different from me. Human's had always been nothing but food for me, my next meal and yet they spoke to her like she was one of them. Like they cared about her. Were all vampires meant to be like them? Had that been another thing that Riley had lied to us about? Even as I thought this the burning in throat told me I was wrong, there was no way I was meant to be like them.

"Jasper, give this a chance" The short dark haired vampire placed her hand on his shoulder but he was still tense as he looked at me. He had been looking at me for the last hour. Just waiting for me to do something worthy of killing me. I knew he would not go against Carlise wish's, he respected him, I could tell, but that did not stop his distrust towards me.

"We're risking to much for her Alice, she is unpredictable. If she gets away from us and starts feeding on the humans around here-"

"She won't. We'll watch her and show her our way of life. Our deal with Jane was that we would keep her with us and that's what we're going to do" Alice replied.

The brown haired vampire, who I now knew was called Esme spoke, her voice gentle and slightly pleading.

"She is only a child. She needs us. And she is going to need you as well Jasper, you of all people know how hard this is going to be for her. She'll need someone to be there for her…a big brother"

I watched for a change in his face as she said this and even if I did not understand her words he did, his expression changed for two thirds of a second and then it was gone. If I had not been looking for it then I was sure I would of seem nothing.

"Very well" he walked over to me and pulled my up by my arm, I could of tried to fight against him if I had wanted to but there seemed no point now, I had already faced death once today. I did not want to do it again. "When did you last feed?"

"Last night" I said automatically, I understood enough not to mention how many humans I had killed and drank dry that night.

"You need food" he stated, just from those three words my hunger seemed to worsen as I thought of sweet, thick blood. He was right. "Emmett, Carlise, can you come with me? I think it would be best if we all stayed with her when she hunts"

Carlise and the large yellow eyes vampire nodded before both of them stood at my sides and Jasper stood behind me, I had to stop myself from flinching, everything was telling me not to let him stand there, he was a danger but a necessary one. To anyone else it would of looked like they were protecting me but I knew better. They were protecting people _from_ me.

"Esme, Alice, Rose go back home" Carlise said with a small smile "We'll be back soon"

And with those words we ran.

I never thought of running as anything other then it was but in that moment it almost felt like freedom. I had not been scared of dying as I had known it would happen but now, when I was getting a _third_ chance to live, I realised how much I wanted it. How much I wanted to live. Even with nothing to live for the air that I breathed in was sweet.

I looked to my right to see Carlise looking at me, his gaze not threatening as Jaspers but thoughtful. I wondered if he liked books as much as I liked them. As much as Fred liked them.

Fred.

He had come back for me and I could not understand why. I had learned a lot more in the last few days then I had in the last three months, as unlikely as it sounded I had started to think that there was more to life then blood. Then feeding. There were friends. And the only two I had had were no loner here with me. Diego had died and Fred was on his way to try and save us both. Learning so much had done nothing but get the only two people I had cared about in trouble.

Being my friend had gotten Diego killed.

"Stop here" Jasper said suddenly and without thinking I did as he asked, I liked him as much as he liked me but right now he was the only thing I had. The others stopped with us but still stayed in their places, not leaving an opening for me to get away. "Can you hear that?"

I listened to the sounds around me and I wondered which one he was talking about, was it the sounds of the cars as they drove passed? The vibrations of wings as the birds flew away, knowing danger was near? Or the sounds of the heart beats of the near by animals?

"The hearts Bree, the blood that's in them-"

"Animal blood?"

"Yes" Carlise answered "I don't think you were told a lot about us Bree but as you may have been able to tell we have…different views from most vampires. Rather then hunt humans we…live among them"

It took a second for what he was saying to sink in. Riley really had lied about _everything._

"You want me to live with humans?"

Emmett chuckled and for a second ever Jasper looked amused.

"No, we would never get you to do that. You not nearly ready, but hopefully one day you will be. For now you won't be seeing humans for a while"

I had a bad feeling about this, the way he was looking at me with caution and how Jasper suddenly tense behind me, ready to stop me if I did something.

"You'll be drinking animal blood from now on"

Animal blood. They wanted me to drink _animal _blood. Like I was some kind of animal myself, in that second I looked at him like we were two different creatures, I was a vampire and he was something else. I knew he was more powerful then me, even if I was slightly stronger as a new born. We were not the same.

I thought of Diego and knew what he would of wanted me to do. He would of wanted me to live, to find out all of the answers that we had so badly wanted. These people could answer my questions, show me what Riley had not. So I nodded and agreed to do something against my nature. At least for tonight I would lower myself to animal blood, it could not be as bad as a drugged human blood. Both of them were not pure.

I dropped the corpse of the deer to the floor and tried to ignore the small burning in the throat, it was not nearly as bad as it had been but no matter how much I drunk that small twinge would not go away. The only thing that could make it was human blood, a luxury it would seem I was being denied.

"Bree, your done?" I nodded to Jasper and he was at my side with Carlise and Emmett, ready to run and go to the place that they called home.

Home.

I wondered what it was like to have one. The broken down houses we had all stayed in had never been referred to as home in my mind, to me they were just our next hiding place from the sun. From something that we had never even needed to be scared of in the first place.

We ran once more but this time Jasper was in the front, leading the way.

Barley three minutes passed before we started to slow down and as the smell of Esme, Rose and Alice hit me I knew that we were there.

The last of the trees cleared and I had to make myself carry on walking, their house was nothing like the ones I had stayed in. It was large and grand and even from the front I could see the furniture inside. Things they did not need, they really did live like humans.

The door opened before we could reach it and Esme walked out, a front on her face and a small black bag in her hands. Before she could open her mouth Carlise was by her side, concern of her face.

"What's wrong?"

"Its Jacob, Sam called and asked for you to go to La Push, they need you there. They can not take him to a hospital, it would be too hard to explain. He asked me to get you to go there as soon as you got home" she said as she handed him the bag "they all know your coming so you'll have no problem getting there"

He nodded quickly and looked to Jasper, giving him a look I didn't understand.

"I'll watch her"

Ah, he was worried about me. I smiled slightly, trying to reassure him but he was already gone, running the opposite way we had came. Esme looked after him before she turned to me and smiled warmly.

"Bree, welcomed to our home"

I nodded and walked up the steps, Jasper and Emmett following my every step, I had a feeling that Jasper was going to be doing this for a long time. Possible every minute that I was here. He worried for the others here. He cared about them.

"Jasper, she's a guest. Give her a little bit of room" Esme said lightly but I could hear a small warning there, she didn't want me to feel even more threatened.

"You have a nice home" I muttered as I looked around, I was not sure what a good home was but something told me this was it. It just looked right.

"Thank you" Esme beamed. "I do try and keep it look nice, though with seven of us living here it can be hard some times"

A thought came to me.

"Why are there so many of you? Is it for protection, as we did?"

"No, we're…something of a family. Carlise is my mate, just as Alice is Jaspers, Rose is Emmett's and…Bella is Edwards"

**Mate.**

"You all have mates?"

She nodded.

"Is that normal? Does every vampire have one?"

"I like to think so, two vampires who are right for one another know when they meet the other. Its like finding the other half of yourself, you would do anything to protect that person, no matter what it cost you"

I nodded but stopped listening to what she was saying.

Diego. I had never really labelled what I had felt for him but had that been it? Was he my mate? Was that why I felt so helpless now, because he was gone? I asked him something that I had been wondering.

"Do you only get one?"

"Normally, yes"

"What happens if one of them dies? What does the other do?"

She looked taken back by my question but answered within a second.

"I think that depends on the person, you can't always tell, some of them go on living while others simple…give up"

Give up.

I remembered what I had said to Carlise: "Please" Please make it quick. I had not even cared that I was about to be killed, I just wanted it done.

My mate had died.

Without warning a sob ran threw my body as reality sunk in.

Diego was not coming back.

I was alone once more.

**Haraldzidla.**


	3. Almost Cruel

**Thanks to the two people who reviewed, this is for you! Please review!**

**I do not own this.**

**Chapter Three**

**Almost Cruel**

There was no need for me to breath and yet it felt like someone was choking me, their hands tight around my throat, making my breaths coming in short gasps. My throat was burning but not for blood. It was like I needed air. My eyes burned but did not water and for the first time in my life I lost control over my body as my hands started shaking and would not stop.

"Bree?"

I wanted to move, I was vulnerable like this. Before I could do anything Jasper quickly took hold on my arms and held me in place.

"What happened?" he asked Esme.

"I don't know" she replied quickly, almost like she was panicked. "We were talking and then she just started crying"

Crying?

Was that what this feeling was? I have never cried after I had been turned, there had never been a reason to. It felt wrong, crying when you had no tears in you.

Almost cruel.

"What were you talking about?"

I looked at Esme to see her looking at me in confusion and pity, just as Carlise had when I had begged him to kill me quickly. Even though my mind was screaming at me not to I found myself fighting against Jasper, trying to make him let me go. He was going to rip my arms off.

"Esme?" Jasper yelled when she did not answer. He knew that he was going to hurt me soon.

"I was telling her about us, about who are mates are"

Another sob escaped and I hated how weak I was acting in front of them.

"Diego"

If they had not turned to me then I would of thought someone else had said it. I didn't mean to, it just seemed to slip out. It was all I could do, sob and say his name, over and over again.

"Diego, Diego, Diego, Diego, _Diego!"_

"What's going on?"

Rose and Alice were walking down the stairs but I paid them no attention, I had too much to think about right now, too much to remember…too much to never forget. I was always going to remember what had happened, how he looked, his smile and they way he had first leaned in and kissed me softly, like it was something that we did all the time.

"_when I take you to her and hold you as she tears off your legs and then slowly, slowly burns off your fingers, ears, lips, tongue, and every other superfluous appendage one by one"_

"No, Diego, no!" I sobbed, suddenly tired I let myself go limp in Jaspers arms and stopped fighting. I had never been tired before.

"Who is Diego sweetie?" Esme asked quietly, she went to put her hand on my arm but I saw Jasper stop her, deeming me unsafe to touch.

I said nothing but it seemed that there was no need for me to any way as the front door opened and they turned to see the mind reader, Edward standing in the door way, watching my body shaking with a sad look on his face.

"Its her mate" He answered for me. I don't even care that he was telling them, just thankful that I was not going to have to be the one to do it. "He got killed"

The room was silent as the others looked at me like they had never seen me before, Jaspers grip on me grew lighter and the pain vanished from my arms.

"No Jasper" Edward said to the question that his brother did not want to ask "We were not the ones who killed him. He wasn't even there, he was killed a few days before that"

"Oh you poor thing" Esme muttered "Was it one of the other new borns?"

I looked at Edward, asking him to talk for me.

"No, it was Riley. Bree did not know in till she reached the field, that's why she tried to leave. He was the one reason that she came in the first place. She wanted to find him so that they could leave together. She did not want to fight us"

"Riley?" Jasper sounded confused "Was that not the vampire who was leading them in the first place? Why would he kill one of them when he needed as many as he could get?"

"Diego knew too much, he needed strength but not smarts. In order to control the newborns he told them lies to keep them in line. He used thing that they already believed in their human lives about vampires. He even said that they would die if they went out into the sun light in order to keep them in the house in the day.

"We knew" I whispered without thinking and all of them turned to me, waiting for me to talk for myself "Diego and I got caught in the sun one day and found out that it would not kill us as Riley had said. Diego believed that Riley did not know so one day we followed Riley and found him with Victoria. He made me leave but stayed behind to try and explain. That was the last time I ever saw him. I was told that he had gone ahead to make sure everything was alright, to watch you for a while. I was so desperate to think that he was alright that I just…believed what was I was told. Then I knew as soon as I saw everyone fighting that I had been wrong. Riley had taken him to Victoria…and she had killed him"

There was silence and for that, I was thankful.

* * *

"Do you want a change of clothes?"

I looked around to see Alice standing there with a small smile. She was the first one to talk to me in the last few hours, ever since I had cried everyone, even including Jasper, had let me have some time by myself to calm down.

"Please" I replied. My cloths seemed so dirty now. They were the same cloths that I had been killed in and the lines of blood that ran across them seemed out of place in such a clean house.

I followed her upstairs and into a room that was slightly smaller then the room that Rob and myself used to sit in. Everything was so bright.

Alice went over to her wardrobe and I almost laughed when I saw how far back it went. I guessed when you had been alive as long as she had you needed something to keep you busy and it seemed that hers was clothes.

"How old are you Bree?"

"Just over three months"

"No, I mean how old _where_ you when you were turned?"

"Almost sixteen I think, but I may have been sixteen already. It was hard to tell back then"

She stopped looking at her cloths and turned back to me with a frown on her face.

"Bree you do remember your human life don't you?"

I nodded and kept on looking around the room, I always disliked talking about when I was human, it seemed so pointless to me.

"I remember, I just don't like thinking about it. I guess you could say I block it out, my human life was not a very good one. I lived out of the streets because I ran away from home. that's how I trusted Riley in the first place. He got me a burger and for a while he seemed like a hero to me" I turned back and looked her in the eyes "and then he killed me"

**Haraldzidla**


	4. I trusted you

**Thank you to the people who have reviewed. I am sorry that this is not getting checked over but I have a spelling disorder so it can be hard some times to find someone who is willing to work with me. Thank you for reading!**

**Also I will update this when I have five reviews for this chapter, I know its not fair but I could use a pick me up right now!**

**I do not own this.**

**Chapter Four**

**I trusted you**

"You look wonderful"

"I look pink"

"You say it like it's a bad thing! What's wrong with pink?"

I couldn't believe she was even asking me this question.

"It's pink"

Alice smiled at me as I looked at myself in the mirror. I had almost forgotten what I looked like. The last time that I had really looked at my reflection had been when I was human and the memory of that day was not very clear. Like it had been a dream.

"It'll grow on you, trust me" she replied as she turned to find something else for me to try on. Three hours had passed since she had first started. "Besides its a lot better then that dress that you were wearing before"

As she said this my eyes seemed to be drawn to my old blue dress that was laying across her bed. It looked so out of place there, just as I was in this house. As much as I disliked the pink dress I was wearing it shocked me to see how different I looked, my hair had been washed and brushed and I was clean to any blood that had been sprayed across my skin. It I had not been so pale and my eyes were not red…there I would of looked…normal.

Remembering something that Riley had told me about the Cullens a thought came into my mind.

"Alice?"

"Yes?"

"Why are your eyes that colour and not red?"

"it's the effect that the animal bloody has on us, rather useful really. It helps us to fit in with the humans more" she laughed slightly as she handed me another dress, it was green this time. "Humans freak out if they seem someone with red eyes"

"Really? I normally kill humans before they get a chance to look at me"

Alice froze and I knew that I had said something wrong, not wanting to make her feel bad I changed the subject.

"So are my eyes going to o yellow as well?"

"With time. But you have to understand, just because your eyes will be different it doesn't mean that you'll be able to go near humans. In fact I don't think your going to be able to go near humans while we're still in Forks. Its going to take a lot longer then that"

"…This is going to be really hard, isn't it?"

Before Alice could answer the door downstairs opened and we both turned towards the sound. My body tensed slightly before I realised it was only Carlise. I knew I was going to have to let my guard down a bit but it was harder then I would of thought.

We listened to him greet everyone before Alice took my hand and silently led me down the stairs.

"Will he be alright?" I heard Esme ask.

When I saw Esme and Carlise I knew something was wrong. She looked too sad and I could see the worry on Carlise face, I never thought I would say this about a vampire but he looked tired.

"He'll be fine, he was healing before I even arrived-"

"Carlise" Jasper muttered as he caught sight of me. I smiled slightly and tried to act like I had heard nothing, I understood that there were some secrets that they were not ready to tell me yet.

"Bree" Carlise greeted as he put down his black bag "I see Alice has gotten hold of you already. You look lovely"

It was at times like this that I was grateful I could no longer blush., everyone in the room had turned to look at me and I tensed. I had never liked it when people paid me too much attention, it made me feel exposed.

"Yeah" I muttered.

"Come on Bree" I almost jumped when I felt her hand on my lower back but I managed to stop myself, I was going to have to get used to how comfortable they were around one another "There are still some dress's I want to see you in"

With out another word I followed her up the stairs and tried not to think about what I had just heard, a part of me wanted to trust the Cullens but it was hard when I knew that they were keeping something from me.

* * *

Everything smelled so much cleaner here. The trees and grass smelled better. As I laid in the garden I almost laughed at how sort if felt against my hard skin. Forks was not a sunny place and so there was no sun today and no light from my skin, just a slight warmth that made me smile. I liked being here and even though I did not like to think about I wondered how long this could last.

If those people did not come back and kill me then I knew that my blood lust would become too much for me and I would end up killing more humans. Knowing that I would kill someone did not bother me but knowing how much I would disappoint the Cullens did. They had welcomed me when they had no reason to and even thought I did not understand their reasons I was thankful.

There was movement in the house and I could tell from the almost silent footsteps that it was Edward, going to see Bella again. She had no been round since I had been here and I felt oddly guiltily that I was keeping her away from her second family. They were meant more to her then they did to me.

"Edward" I only whispered his name, but he would of heard me.

Less then two second later he was standing over me, a frown on his face.

"Are you alright Bree? Are you hungry then I am sure that Jasper-"

"No" I said with a small laugh as I sat up "Its nothing like that. He took me out last night…he's been very kind" And he had been, Jasper still did not trust me and I could not blame him, to him I may never stop being him enemy, another reason why I did not fit in here. "I wanted to, well, say that I'm sorry"

With one look into my mind his face relaxed and he smiled at me.

"Your not any problem Bree. I think its best if Bella stays away for a while. It keeps her safe and it will make things easier for you in the long run. Being around normal blood is hard enough but Bella…"

My throat burned as I remembered her smell, he was right. Her blood was unlike anything I hard ever smelled. I would kill her within seconds. And I wouldn't of even cared.

"Sorry" I muttered as he tensed, he had seen what I had thought. "I can't help myself"

He nodded and sighed, giving me a small pitying look.

"I know. That's why we are going to help you"

And I believed him.

* * *

Being betrayed by someone you trust can sometimes leave you with a few emotions scars. But being killed by someone you trusted always will. In the last few years of my human life only a handful of people had shown me any kindness, so when Riley had come to me I had never thought that my life had been in danger.

There was something that seemed to pull me to him, I can even remember thinking about how beautiful he looked.

I was stupid and weak.

Not once did I wonder why he was so pale, or think about how odd it was that he wore sunglasses at night. Even when he smiled at me and showed me his teeth I still held onto his hand and willing followed him to my death. Or my rebirth. I wasn't sure what to call being a vampire anymore.

Carlise had told me that most new borns never lived passed the first year and the more time I spent as a vampire the more I understood why. In some ways it was a lot like being human: there were so many ways you could die.

**We are going to start moving forward in the next chapter so et ready for the story to unfold people! And please remember about the five reviews! I hate doing this but I really need them to make me happy right now!**


	5. Nightmares

I really have no idea why this took me so long to get up, lets just call it a very bad case of writers block shall we? Thank you for everyone who has been reviewing, you guys keep me going! If someone thinks that this is a story that they would like to betta then please let me know, god knows I could use the help right now!

I own a lovely Teddie bear called Fred...but sadly I do not own Twilight :(

Chapter Five

Nightmares

Two long, boring and uneventful weeks passed and I still felt like I was at square one, my need for human blood was as strong as it had ever been and much to my despair it showed no sign of leaving. I had known that my body was going to be frozen like this but it seemed like my life was as well. Everyday was the same for me and yet I had to sit there and watch all of the yellow eyes live theirs.

I didn't mind being by myself, in fact I liked it, it was something I was used to. It reminded me how things used to be. But I wasn't used to seeing the way they lived and acted around one another…it was like they were a family. I had been told what the humans thought they were but why did they still act like that when there was no one around to watch them?

Were they so used to acting that it just happened or was the love I was seeing between them real?

The two people I couldn't understand the most were Alice and Edward, there was something about them that made me feel uneasy. They were just too different. There were times when Alice would remind more of a human then a vampire. The way she spoke and moved seemed all wrong. Every few hours she would shrift her weight or brush her hair away from her face. It was all so human and unnecessary. It was like there were people watching her.

Just like Edward she felt love for their pet, Bella.

His love Bella.

The more I thought about it the more I could not understand it. To me humans had never been anything other the food, they died so that I could live. Just from the way they talked about her it seemed like they would die so that _she_ could live.

The yellow eyes had everything in the wrong order, I was sure of it. Something about this just seemed wrong. Riley had lied about many thing but I didn't think this was one of them. He had been right in saying that we were more powerful, more important than humans. I could snap one in half before they could even blink.

And here I was, made to drink nothing but animals blood in hope that the dark-cloaks decided to allow me to live…and then what? I would simply live in the world on my own with nothing but the memories of -

"_**when I take you to her and hold you as she tears off your legs and then slowly, slowly burns off your fingers, ears, lips, tongue, and every other superfluous appendage one by one"**_

- him. Diego. My mate who had been killed by the same person who had taken my human life away from me.

What kind of second life was that?

* * *

I looked at the trees around me and tried to relax, something I hadn't done since I was human. Back when I thought that vampires had been nothing but bed time stories. But being a vampire was different to how I had thought it would be, there was power here but I didn't want it. What was the point in having all this power if you could never use it? We were designed to kill and hunt humans and here I was, drinking animal blood and degrading myself for the chance of not being killed. Was it worth it? Would death really be better then this?

Would Diego do this if it meant he could live?

I remembered the look of pity had had given me when I had first met him and I knew the answer. He had seen and understood what we had been doing and I believe he hated himself for it. For being a monster and having to kill in order to live. He would of picked this life rather then the one he had to live.

Killing was murder no matter how you looked at it.

I just wished that it was enough to stop my hunger, because everyday was worst then the last. I would drink in till I was full and yet still my throat would burn as though someone had filled it was hot coal. Maybe I would always burn like this.

The sound of footsteps came from my right but I didn't bother to turn, there was no heart beat and I knew who it would be. I growled in annoyance but said nothing. I could not go any where without him being a few steps behind me. Watching to see if I would slip up.

"Your never going to leave me alone are you?" I finally asked when a few minutes passed without him saying anything.

I looked round to see Jasper leaning against a tree, his arms crossed and a small smile on his face. We were not friends but he had become nicer over time. He was no longer violent towards me but he didn't trust me either. I thought about my hunger and knew I could not blame him.

"With time" he simply answered.

I quickly nodded and looked back to the trees, just thinking to myself as I could no longer do in the house. I hated Edward listening to my every thought. It made my grief worse somehow.

"We can hunt it you want?"

I frowned.

"Is there any point?" I asked "Will it make my hunger go away? Make the burning stop?"

He said nothing and I laughed lightly.

"I didn't think so. I feel like I'm mad some times, doing the same thing over and over again and thinking that some thing will change. When in reality it will take me years to even be in the same room as a human not want to kill them. To drink them"

I looked at him again but focused my attention on a tree to his right, all those scars on his arms reminded me of too much. Of how much I had lost and how much I could still lose.

"You'll get better. With time"

"With time? Well I guess that's all I have now isn't it? Time. Then again maybe I don't. For all I know my death could be making it's way to me as we speak. Even if I do live then what? I would have no where to go. There is no where in this world that holds meaning for me"

"My family would never turn you away Bree, if you are allowed to live then you know you would be welcomed here"

I laughed at the very idea of being like them, they had been kind and fought for my life when no one had done so before. I had taken away so many lives that I had lost count...and I wasn't even sorry. They were food. There was no way I could spend the rest of my time on earth like them.

"And then what?" I asked "I stay here with you and the others…and your pet and live happily ever after? I really don't see that happening. I could kill her you know, all it would take is one second. All she would be able to do is blink and by then I could of ripped her-"

Jasper moved suddenly and my head snapped back to him, I crouched down and snarled but it was already too late. His hand was round my neck and I heard the sound the tree behind me snap as my head hit it.

"Do you wish to die?" He hissed as I tried to get him off me, I may of been stronger then him but he knew more. I was locked into place as he held onto me, his eyes turning darker. Looking right at him made me realise just how much danger I was in, the scars told me everything I needed to know. Killing new borns like me was nothing knew to him. "I could do it if that is what you wish, if death is really what you want"

"It is"

My answer surprised both of us and his expression changed as I stopped moving, allowing him to hurt me. My instincts told me to protect myself but I ignored it. I didn't know what happened when a vampire died and at that moment I didn't much care. Maybe Diego would be there. Maybe there would be nothing. I though about the first time Diego's lips had touched my own and I realised that I didn't much care. I willing to take the risk.

For him.

Slowly Jasper let go of me and moved back, just looking at me.

"I don't understand you" he finally said. "Your newborn, you should worry about nothing other then self preservation. It is your way"

The way he spoke made me want to laugh, how could he speak to me like he knew me? Like he had lived my short life. He knew nothing of what I had seen, of what it had been like. Trying night after night to hide myself, to feed without starting fights with the others over blood. To stay hidden from others who were just like me.

"You know nothing" I hissed.

"I know more then you think I do" he calmly replied "Would you like to hear it?"

"No, I don't think so. I have better things to be doing with my time, rather then speak to you"

I tried to push down my anger as I walked away from him, I knew that he would never let me leave if he knew how I was feeling. I almost thought I had made it when I heard him.

"Where are you going?"

"To hunt"

"You know you need someone with you when you-"

"Then send Emmett after me. He can play babysitter why you think of more reason as to why your family killing me would be a good idea"

And with that I ran. I ran from them, the yellows eyes who thought they knew so much, who cared more then I wanted them to. There was nothing wrong with me, I was normal. I was a vampire. They were the ones who were wrong, drinking animal blood like they were animals themselves.

I wanted to drink. To feed.

I wanted blood, fresh and warm.

My throat burned as I thought of how good it would feel to finally feel full. I just wanted the burning to stop.

"_**when I take you to her and hold you as she tears off your legs and then slowly, slowly burns off your fingers, ears, lips, tongue, and every other superfluous appendage one by one"**_

His voice filled my mind once again and I wanted to scream. I could not sleep, I should not have these night mares when awake. I was a vampire, I _was_ someones nightmare.

**_"I'll be right behind you"_**

I guess I should of known that I would never see him again when he said that. There were times when I believed he had known that he might never seen me again when he said that. Other times I don't. No new born vampire would ever willingly walk to their death. Jasper had been right, we would do anything to save ourselves.

**Please review!**

**Haraldzidla**


	6. Thirst

**Chapter Six**

**Thirst**

Thump. Thump. Thump.

A low growl hissed out of my mouth as I felt it fill with venom, the sound of the beating heart and the smell of its rich blood...it was enough to make me forget everything. With a blood curdling roar I jumped forward and landed on its back, forcing the deer to the ground. Right now the only thing that matter was blood. I let out a low moan as I bit into its neck and felt the warm blood dripping down my throat, the burning dimmed slightly as I fed. I knew there was no point in hoping that it would totally disappear, the only thing that would make it go away was human blood. Rich, sweet human blood...

"Hey kid, slow down. Didn't anyone ever teach you to chew when you eat?"

Dropping the deer corpse I spun round and crouched while bearing my teeth, this was _my_ food.

"Hey, hey" Emmett said as he held up his hands and took a step back "It's all yours"

I hissed in warning once more before I finished what was left of my dinner, even thigh I knew Emmett was not a threat to me my mind made me watch him as a drank. No matter how much time I spent with these people I still stood by the rule of never trusting anyone. The only person I had come close to trusting- well, he was gone.

With a final mouthful I dropped the deer once more and stood up, suddenly aware of the blood stains on the new dress that Alice had gotten me. I pushed away such an unimportant thought and instead looked at Emmett with a small feeling of amusement. As much as I didn't trust them I could still feel myself warming to them slightly, even Jasper. Ever since Jasper and Emmett had started to take turns in taking me out to feed I had even warmed to Emmett, something that because of his size I had never thought would have been possible. Once you got around how threatening he looked he was really...kind of sweet.

"Didn't anyone ever teach you to not sneak up on a new born while their feeding?"

Emmett laughed.

"Well someone once said that to me but, then again, I do recall you trying to tell Jasper that you weren't a new born anymore" he said with an amused grin "something about being stronger now. At least, that's what I thought I heard"

I scowled and started running back to the house, I was still hungry but even the pain of needed food seemed like a better option than standing here and listening to Emmett make fun of me. Everyone had been aware of my bad mood the last few days after Jasper and I had yet another fight. I had asked to go hunting on my own and without even listening to my reasons why he had said no. Just like that.

Like I was some kind of child.

Emmett tried to call after me but I ignored him as I carried on running, we both knew that for the time being I was still faster than him. I was faster than all of the culle- red eyes. I moved myself fasted as I got closer to the house, the trees started to grow thicker and I enjoyed the feeling of the wind rushing past me as I ran. Sometimes I thought that running was the only enjoyment that I had left. I slowed down as I finally reached the river, I was still mad with Emmett for teasing me and I knew that going inside wouldn't be a good idea right now. I didn't think I would even be able to open a door right now without breaking it. I thought about how much damage I had done to their house in the time I had been here and cringed, who knew how much money just having me in the house had cost them.

"Bree, come on! I was joking"

Within a second Emmett was next to me with him normal laid back smile. I briefly wondered how long it would take me before I would be like that. Maybe one day I could trust people too. If I lived that long ofcourse.

"I know" I replied as I sat down on the grass, it was wet but I couldn't bring myself to care, Alice was already going to kill me for ruining another one of the new dresses she had gotten me anyway. "But that doesn't mean that I have to like it"

Emmett took an unnecessary breath and sat down next to me.

"Jasper has his reasons for saying no Bree"

"And I have my reasons for him to say yes but he won't even give me a chance to explain! As soon as I open my mouth he thinks that I'm lying! Nothing I do it ever good enough for him! I can't even go for a walk without having to be followed!"

"Bree you were left in our care-"

"By the people who could very well show up at any moment and kill me!"

He said nothing for a moment and I tried to pull my anger back in, as much as I wanted to hit something right now I wasn't as far gone that I forgot what the odds were. If it came down to it I knew that I would lose. I always lost.

"I'm a prisoner Emmett. Nothing more"

" Bree you must know that we wouldn't let them hurt you"

"Then you're a fool. You have a family whom you claim to love and yet now you say that you would all protect me? You and I both know that you would die before you even really had a chance. If it came down to it you would all let me die to safe one another...and I would be a fool for thinking anything different"

I stood up and looked out towards the woods, trying to pick up the heart beat of something close to the house; suddenly I had changed my mind about not eating anything else.

"You all keep on telling me how we're all the same but we're not. In fact you and I couldn't be any more different. You lie to yourself everyday...I don't. The last time I lied to myself the boy I loved died. I will _never_ lie to myself again"

The sound of a beating heart reached me and I smiled as I breathed in its scent.

"Now if you'll excuse me I'm starving"

As soon as I starting running I heard him follow but I simply did the same thing as I had always done.

I ignored him.

* * *

I watched in silence as the first light broke over the tree tops, to my displeasure I forced myself to stay as I was, hands behind my back as I took in the sight in front of me. No matter how many days I spend in the sun light there was always a small voice in my head telling me to run when I first saw it. The small chance of danger made my body tense and I tried to relax, Vampires were nothing if not careful.

Trying to distract my mind for even a second I looked across the river to the tree line as I counted down the seconds along with the seemly loud ticking of the clock.

Tick...5...tock...4...tick...3...tock...2...tick...1...tock...

Just as he did every morning Edward stepped through the trees and slowly made his way up to the house. I frowned in frustration as I watched him once again do the same thing that he had done every morning since I had arrived. Just as I knew he would he was wearing different cloths that he had left in the night before. He had never mentioned why he did this but then again he didn't need to; I already knew why.

He would never risk me catching her scent.

I thought back to the first time I smelled it, the mere memory of it making a small shiver run up my spine. It had been something that was hard to forget. I moved from the window and sat down of the queen size bed in the middle of the room, as much as it was not needed I couldn't help but love it slightly, even closing my eyes and laying on it relaxed my mind. It almost made me miss being human.

Almost.

I picked up the book I had left there and opened it randomly, attempting to look lost in the story as Edward entered the room. He paused in the door way for a second before taking off his coat and closing the door behind him.

"You'll have nothing left to read soon"

"I'm sure Alice would get some more for me before I even had time to notice"

"True" Edward admitted with a small chuckle "but that doesn't mean that they'll be anything you'll want to read. Could you really see Alice coming home with a good book?"

I thought about it for an eighth of a second before I dismissed him comment; I had read some of the worse books in the first few weeks of my second life. I'm sure I could handle anything Alice chucked my way.

"I'm sure I would make do. After all there's not much else for me to do around here"

Edward nodded.

"You like to read then?"

I opened my mouth to reply when the sound of Alice yelling stopped me.

"No, Edward stop her!"

Suddenly everything stopped. As soon as the smell hit me nothing else mattered, Edward voice fazed into the background as I sprung to my feet, my mind screaming at me to find it, find that sweet smell. A sharp pain seared in my throat and I screamed as it almost blinded me. Edward said something but I ignored it, nothing else mattered right now but that smell.

As soon as I went to move I felt something grab me round the waist, the very weight of the person made me fall to the ground as I screamed in frustration. I was _so _hungry. I needed it. I needed that sweet smell. I continued to thrash in Edwards grip as Emmett and Jasper entered the room to help their brother hold me down.

"Bree stop" Jasper said as he leaned down and held onto my arms "You need to stop or you're going to hurt yourself"

"I don't care!" I said as my voice came out in short sobs "I need it, please! Let me go!"

Alice came in the room a second later and looked between Jasper and I with concern.

"Jasper, their coming. We don't have much time"

Jasper frowned at me for a moment before he gave a sharp nod.

"Alright. Edward, Emmett I need you to help me hold her down, we need to move her. She can't be here"

I yelled out once more as the pain in my throat seemed to grow, I need to feed. I need blood.

"Alice why didn't you see this sooner?" Edward asked as he helped life me from the floor.

"You know it doesn't work like that. It wasn't in till a moment ago that they even decided to walk down that foot path. Get her out of here. Now."

Edward nodded.

I carried on thrashing but it made no difference, in under a second he had me over his shoulder and was walking towards the window with Jasper and Emmett at his side.

**~Haraldzidla**


	7. Let us help

**This chapters for LadyLiterary, who seemed very insistent on a quick update!**

**Chapter Seven**

**Let us help**

I dropped yet another deer carcase to the ground and sucked in an unnecessary breath, Jasper was still watching me from a small distance and I knew that I had to try and calm myself before I went too far. My throat seemed to have returned to its constant tingling sensation and I resigned myself to the fact that it wasn't going to get better than this, even if I drank another seven deer's it wasn't going to make it stop.

Edward and Emmett had made their excuses of getting their own dinner about twenty minutes ago but I knew there had been no truth to their words. They had gone hunting only last night and I had known them long enough to understand that they only hunted every week or so. The unspoken truth was that they had just wanted to leave; unlike some people they gave me privacy as I ate.

I looked down at my dress and almost smiled, there were still blood patches here and there but it was a big improvement to the last few times I had fed.

I was getting better.

As soon as I looked up at Jasper my small feeling of pride at such a simple thing melted away, he didn't look angry like I thought he was going to. His look reminded me of the first one Diego had given me. Pity. He was standing there watching me, he was _always_ watching me.

"Well?" I asked when a moment had passed of us simply looking at one another "Isn't this the part where you say I told you so?"

He frowned and turned his head slightly; almost like he thought doing so would help him see me better.

"Why would I do that?"

"You said I wasn't ready to go out on my own" I shrugged and looked around at the dead deer that were scattered around the clearing we were in, now that I looked at them it seemed like there might have been a few more than seven "and you were right. I wasn't even near a human, all I did was get one smell of them and I went nuts. I guess getting close to them right now really isn't an option"

"I know"

I narrowed my eyes at his tone of voice and he held up his hands in a surrendering gesture and smiled. It was odd when I thought about it; in all the time we have known each other he had never truly smiled at me in till now.

"I only agreed to what you said Bree, I never said I told you so. I would never say that about this. With time it will get better"

I rolled my eyes and wished that I could stuff those words back down his throat, every day he said the same thing and every day I kept waiting for the burning to get better, for some kind of sign that one day it would. So far I had seen nothing, I was feeling this hunger for_ nothing_.

"It will" Jasper insisted when he felt my emotions. I turned away and tried not to scowl, the longer I spent here the more annoying his little trick was becoming. If I wanted him to know how I was feeling then I would tell him. There was no need for him to read into them every two seconds.

In a flash too fast for even me to see Jasper was standing in front of me. I went to crouch defensively when I realised that he wasn't moving, he was simply standing there. His arms were folded and he had his familiar frown on his face as he looked down at me.

"You really don't like us do you?

I kept my face blank as he asked the question but I knew he could feel my disbelief that he had even bothered asking. Why would he care how I felt about them? Why would any of them? They were babysitting me because their leader had been too kind to kill me, something I was sure he was starting to regret now that he realised how much trouble I was.

"My family care about you Bree" he hesitated for one fourth of a second "I care about you too"

I said nothing and simply gave him a disbelieving look; I was willing to believe a lot of things but them caring for me weren't one of them. I knew they had done a lot for me and I was thankful that they had saved my life and helped me but I had lived with Vampires enough to know what they were like.

What we were like.

I thought of all of the people that I had seen ripped apart and burned for pointless reasons and I knew that I was right. People like us would turn on others for their own amusement if the mood took them.

I doubted we were even capable of caring unless it was our mate.

_Then what about Fred?_

The question entered my mind so suddenly that it took me by surprise; he had come back for me even though he knew that he was putting himself in danger by doing so. Even when he had realised that I was in trouble he had helped me and left with the cloaked figured in order for me to live.

Fred had cared.

"Bree?" I nodded to show that I was listening and he carried on "I know I don't always act like someone who cares but I have my reasons for doing so. I'm simply protecting my family and I know they would do the same for me. As they would do for you"

I shook my head.

"Don't confuse me with your family Jasper. One way or another I'm not staying here, even if the cloaked figures let me live I wouldn't stay. I can't live like this and I know I don't belong here. I'm a vampire, nothing more. I know my place, even if your family don't seem to understand theirs. I'm not going to try and be something that I'm not"

He considered my words for a moment before he nodded.

"If you want to go then go"

My gaze snapped to his at his words and I watched his expression to try and see if he was lying, when his face gave away nothing I took a step back.

"You'd let me go?"

"Of course" he nodded, trying to prove his point he took a step to the side and cleared the way for me "If you feel like a prisoner with us then I'm not going to make you stay. I was a prisoner once. I know what being trapped is like. I can't say it's something that I would like you to experience like I did"

I looked straight ahead to the deeper part of the forest, the path that would take me further from the yellow eyes home. It took everything I had not to run right that second, I had never been that far away from the house before but I had always wanted to.

There was so much that I had yet to see and I longed to see what laid beyond these woods, as long as I stayed here that was a good chance that it would be years before I would even see the outside world without a member of their family standing by my side. Years before I knew what freedom would really be like.

For reasons I didn't understand I stayed where I was and looked at Jasper instead, his face was giving nothing away but somehow I knew that he was telling me the truth, if I really wanted to leave here he would let me go.

"You'd be putting your family in danger" I couldn't stop myself from pointing out "if they found out that you let me go they would punish you all"

"We'd think of something. My family has a knack for getting out of trouble. We'd handle it I'm sure"

I looked at him in confusion and tried to understand.

"Why would you do that? You've spent all this time guarding me to keep me away from your family and now you would simply ruin all of that by letting me go? Why?"

He smiled away but this time it was different, it reminded me of the smile that Riley had given me when I had met him but at the same time it was completely different , the warmth I saw in his smile was real.

"I told you: I care about you" when he saw that I need more he carried on "I wasn't protecting them from you Bree, I was protecting you from yourself. You're a good kid, I know that and deep down I know that you know that too. But when we're turned we become different people if we let ourselves. Our human sides blocked out and all that's left in the end is hunger and death"

I thought of my own hunger and silently agreed.

"That's why we live this life Bree, so that we can try and hold onto who we really are and not who our hunger makes us. I know I don't leave you alone but I promise you that I was doing it for your own good, I was trying to help. I wanted to help you remember what it's like to be human. Once you start to remember your hunger gets better, easier to keep under control. Instead of looking at them and seeing your next meal you see someone's mother, father, daughter, son...you start to see that people out there need them more then you need their blood"

I remembered the night Riley had taken us to the boat and all of the people that I had killed, for all I knew I had killed whole families that night. Were their people out there right now morning the loss of a loved one that had been on that boat? Before then I had only ever killed drugies, hookers...the ones that no one had missed. But people on that boat would be missed; their families would wonder where they were when they didn't return home.

Not sparing Jasper another look I ran away before I could change my mind.

I was free.

And yet I felt more trapped then I had done before.

**Let me know what you think ~Haraldzidla**


End file.
